Iraqis

A guy walks into a coffee shop and sees President Bush and Colin Powell sitting together. He introduces himself and asks President Bush, "How goes the War effort, Sir?"
President Bush answers, "We're getting ready to kill 40 million Iraqi's and one blonde."

The guy asks in astonishment, "Why are you killing one blonde?"

President Bush turns to Colin Powell and says, "See, I told you people wouldn't care about the Iraqi's."

The First Lady's patriotic duties

What do George Bush's wife and the American flag have in common?
They both go down in the name of the president

The First Lady's patriotic duties

What do George Bush's wife and the American flag have in common?
They both go down in the name of the president

Puppet?

President George W. Bush was getting angry about the public opinion of his ability to govern, so he arranged a press conference to let the American public know what was on his mind.
He started strongly, "The American People must know that I am wholly fit, capable, and prepared to serve this nation as commander-in-chief. And I say to those people who believe that I don't have a mind of my own..." Bush said and froze. He looked over at Cheney and whispered, "Dick, what do I say to them again...?"

Bush's Winning Campaign Slogans

1. I'll turn capital punishment into a new game show!
2. I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time.

3. I'll finish what Bill started -- the interns.

4. Like father, like son. You liked my dad, right?

5. Vote for the GOP, Not OPP.

6. I promise no sex scandal -- just look at me!

7. New penal plan: I won't use mine!

8. Read my lips: Al Gore Sucks.

9. George W. Bush: No hang-ups. Just hangovers.

10. Vote for Bush and against Common Sense

War Pigs

Secretaries Powell and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, “Isn’t that Powell and Rumsfeld?” The barkeep says, “Yep, that’s them.” So, the guy walks over to the two and says, “Hello, what are you guys doing?” Rumsfeld says, “We’re planning World War III,” to which the guy replies, “Really? What’s going to happen?” Rumsfeld says, “Well, we’re going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman.” And the guy exclaims, “Why are you going to kill a bicycle repairman!?!” With that, Rumsfeld turns to Powell and says, “See, I told you no one would care about the 10 million Afghans!”

Bomb

Bush: My fellow Americans, prepare to die. I accidentally sent my wife's birthday gift to bin Laden instead of a bomb. When he receives the negligee I'm afraid he won't be happy. Unfortunately, my wife will receive the bomb. At least ONE good thing will come of this!